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"Telephone Secrets"
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| Croakersack.com Read Writing Worth Reading! |
"Telephone Secrets"
A Croakersack Article
By
Alvin Hebert
We are all in debt. It is the American way. We buy cars, houses, computers,
television sets and all kinds of stuff that cause us to go into debt. The larger
the purchase, the more likely we are to flash plastic, or sign on the dotted line,
and keep our cash in our pockets.
When our debts become unmanageable, we cross over into a new
relationship with our creditors. It is an antagonistic, twilight zone relationship
with potential for developing into a powder keg of angry frustrations on both
sides. We need to understand the dynamics at work in order to get things
back under control.
The poor are in debt because they have no money. The rich are in debt
because they do have money. The difference between the two is that the rich
spend other peoples' money going into debt, while the poor spend their own.
The rich get big loans and financing. The poor get monthly payments.
Sometimes, they get weekly payments. Whether it is a big debt or a small
debt, it is all debt. The common bond between the rich and the poor is what
drives both into debt to begin with. They both borrowed money.
Can you spell “credit”? The definition of credit is something that you can use
to get into deep do-do.
The rich can get credit easier because they are rich. They have collateral.
Collateral is stuff they can take away from you if you don’t pay them back.
The rich have collateral because they bought stuff with just that in mind.
They can go into debt for lots and lots of money because they can list their
collateral in the collateral box when they fill out the loan application.
Collateral looks good on paper. It can be used as justification for both giving
the loan, as well as for making a case for being given the loan. It can save
someone’s job, too. That’s why they ask for it.
The poor bought stuff just because they wanted to buy stuff. The fact that it
may or may not have been potential collateral was not a decision making
factor at the time of purchase. If it can be used as collateral later, fine. That’s
great. If not, it was still what they were going to buy because they wanted to
buy it.
The definition of collateral is stuff you can use to get into debt for lots and lots
of money. The more collateral, the more money you can borrow.
The poor can get credit because they are poor, but oftentimes they have
collateral, too. They have collateral because they bought stuff when they had
money. It may be a house or it may be a car. It may be a wrist watch or a
gold chain, or it may be because they get paid next Friday. Their stuff can be
repossessed.
Can you spell “credit card”? The definition of credit card is a fancy piece of
plastic that you can use to get into deep do-do.
The rich can get into debt and then file for bankruptcy. Bankruptcy gives
them protection from their creditors, so they get to keep their stuff and their
money, too. Then, they get to start all over again just like nothing ever
happened.
The poor can go into debt when they miss a monthly payment. Then, they get
nasty telephone calls from the people they owe. They get pink slips and
yellow slips in the mail. Then, they get more nasty telephone calls. They get
letters in the mail on official looking stationary threatening to take away their
possessions, and, their lives as they know it. It can appear to be an endless
cycle and it can be frustrating.
That’s when some of the poor, sometimes, resort to going to pawn shops and
hocking their possessions. They make their own decisions to give up their
stuff to try and keep ahead of the bill collectors.
It is all about trying to make ends meet and it actually begins the moment you
commit to borrowing money. There are no people in between the rich people
and the poor people. There is no such thing as a “middle class”. They lied to
you when they told you there was.
If there was a middle class, the people in it would not be so confused.
Middle class implies that the poor are poor, but a have a fair chance to
become rich. There is a catch to that. It also means that the poor have a
very good chance of remaining poor, too.
Winning the lottery does not count! Gambling is an uncontrollable variable.
It can be very confusing to some people and actually be the cause of them
getting into debt in the first place. It can be sorted out very easily by applying
one simple rule of logic – if you are the ones getting the pink and yellow slips
in the mail – you are the poor. If you are the ones getting the nasty telephone
calls, someone is trying to tell you they don’t think you are going to get rich
soon.
If you are the ones who are not getting the pink and yellow slips, and you owe
money, you are the rich, unless you are the ones who are constant moving
around and leaving no change of address with the post office.
If you are the ones who are not getting the nasty phone calls and you owe lots
and lots of money, you are the ones who can file for bankruptcy. That way,
you get to keep your stuff! You do not have to hitch a ride to the pawn shop
and you still get to keep your money, too. You just might not be able to
borrow as much money the next time as you borrowed the first time.
You will have to rebuild your credit, first, by borrowing less money. Then you
can borrow lots and lots of money again, next time.
Sooner or later, there comes a point in time when both the rich and the poor
must pay up. As they say on the western channel, sooner or later “there
comes a time of reckoning”. Reckon you better pay up, or, face the
consequences. The consequences include suffering the frustrations and
embarrassment of being bothered at home and, sometimes at work, by nasty
phone calls from bill collectors.
You cannot tell them that they should not have loaned you the money in the
first place. That does not work! It does not help to curse them out and order
them to stop calling your house, either.
There is a law against them harassing you at work but if they can get mileage
out of threatening to do that, too, they will.
The poor and the rich all get phone calls from the people they owe, sooner or
later. The rich do not get too many, though, because they have lawyers.
They turn the problem over to their lawyers because the lawyers know how to
file for bankruptcy. Lawyers know how to get money from the rich like that.
No one else knows how, because it is a big secret that lawyers keep to
themselves.
The poor get lots and lots of phone calls from the people they owe. If the law
says bill collectors cannot call you before 8 a.m., they begin calling around 8:
01 a.m. If the law says they can’t call after 9 p.m., they call you at 8:55 p.m.
And they often call numerous times in between. They are the creditors! They
are out to get a payment or make your life miserable. The fact that you may
have fallen on hard times might get your creditors to accommodate you with
“some (temporary) arrangements” but eventually, it comes down to catching
up on those missed payments.
The poor cannot turn the problem over to their lawyers because they have no
lawyers. They can’t afford them. The lawyers do not want to file for
bankruptcy for the poor, either. Bankruptcy is legal stuff you go through to
keep your stuff and your money. Lawyers don’t want to go through legal stuff
to protect someone who cannot pay them for protecting stuff they do not
have.
Lawyers don’t like to get laughed out of court like that. Lawyers would rather
sue people. Whether they win or lose, they know there is nothing funny about
suing people.
Since both the rich and the poor are subjected to all of this, everyone needs
this bit of Croakersack advice. This is our secret for dealing with telephone
solicitors and bill collectors. It is for everyone who has a potential of receiving
unwanted phone calls. It comes in two parts.
First Croakersack Secret, get a telephone answering machine and use it.
You should stop being afraid to answer your own phone just because it might
be a bill collector. You do not have to be controlled by a machine like that.
You do not have to be too proud or too embarrassed to turn the thing on.
So, your friends complain. So what? Everyone talks to machines now.
You do, too! When you call your friends, you get their machines. Why
should your friends receive special treatment?
You can screen your calls with an answering machine. If bill collectors call, let
them talk to your answering machine. That can be like turning them over to
your own personal lawyer. If your friends call, you can pick up or you can call
them back. You can even sit there and smile and get revenge for all the times
you had to talk to their machines. Turn the thing on and use it!
Second and Most Important Croakersack Secret, as soon as you establish
that the caller is a bill collector or an unwanted solicitor, set the telephone
receiver down and walk away. Do not hang up! Do not curse them out.
Do not say a word. If you do, you lose. Turn up the music or go into the
kitchen and fix yourself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but do not say
anything. If you speak, you will be playing their game, and, you will lose!
If you follow this advice, they will soon stop harassing you. They will soon
stop calling you. It will be like holding a silver cross in front of Dracula just
before he bites you on the neck. To refuse to speak to them is the worst
thing you can do to a telephone bill collector or solicitor. It takes away all their
power!
They might call back a time or two and say something like, “I believe we were
disconnected”. Do not say a word! Just put the phone down again, again,
and walk away from it. Do not say anything like, “No, we were not
disconnected!” “I hung up on you on purpose!” If you do you lose, and you
will have to start all over, again. It won’t be as easy and as smooth the
second time (although it will work).
So, take back your manhood or your womanhood and take control of your
telephone and your life, again.
You might get a call a few months later and think it is starting all over, again.
Do not panic! It will not be starting all over, again. It will be someone else
calling on their behalf because they sold your problem and promised them a
commission if they can squeeze blood out of a turnip. Just follow the
Croakersack secret and you will be alright.
(Home Page!) (back to The Croakersack Page)
A Croakersack Article
By
Alvin Hebert
We are all in debt. It is the American way. We buy cars, houses, computers,
television sets and all kinds of stuff that cause us to go into debt. The larger
the purchase, the more likely we are to flash plastic, or sign on the dotted line,
and keep our cash in our pockets.
When our debts become unmanageable, we cross over into a new
relationship with our creditors. It is an antagonistic, twilight zone relationship
with potential for developing into a powder keg of angry frustrations on both
sides. We need to understand the dynamics at work in order to get things
back under control.
The poor are in debt because they have no money. The rich are in debt
because they do have money. The difference between the two is that the rich
spend other peoples' money going into debt, while the poor spend their own.
The rich get big loans and financing. The poor get monthly payments.
Sometimes, they get weekly payments. Whether it is a big debt or a small
debt, it is all debt. The common bond between the rich and the poor is what
drives both into debt to begin with. They both borrowed money.
Can you spell “credit”? The definition of credit is something that you can use
to get into deep do-do.
The rich can get credit easier because they are rich. They have collateral.
Collateral is stuff they can take away from you if you don’t pay them back.
The rich have collateral because they bought stuff with just that in mind.
They can go into debt for lots and lots of money because they can list their
collateral in the collateral box when they fill out the loan application.
Collateral looks good on paper. It can be used as justification for both giving
the loan, as well as for making a case for being given the loan. It can save
someone’s job, too. That’s why they ask for it.
The poor bought stuff just because they wanted to buy stuff. The fact that it
may or may not have been potential collateral was not a decision making
factor at the time of purchase. If it can be used as collateral later, fine. That’s
great. If not, it was still what they were going to buy because they wanted to
buy it.
The definition of collateral is stuff you can use to get into debt for lots and lots
of money. The more collateral, the more money you can borrow.
The poor can get credit because they are poor, but oftentimes they have
collateral, too. They have collateral because they bought stuff when they had
money. It may be a house or it may be a car. It may be a wrist watch or a
gold chain, or it may be because they get paid next Friday. Their stuff can be
repossessed.
Can you spell “credit card”? The definition of credit card is a fancy piece of
plastic that you can use to get into deep do-do.
The rich can get into debt and then file for bankruptcy. Bankruptcy gives
them protection from their creditors, so they get to keep their stuff and their
money, too. Then, they get to start all over again just like nothing ever
happened.
The poor can go into debt when they miss a monthly payment. Then, they get
nasty telephone calls from the people they owe. They get pink slips and
yellow slips in the mail. Then, they get more nasty telephone calls. They get
letters in the mail on official looking stationary threatening to take away their
possessions, and, their lives as they know it. It can appear to be an endless
cycle and it can be frustrating.
That’s when some of the poor, sometimes, resort to going to pawn shops and
hocking their possessions. They make their own decisions to give up their
stuff to try and keep ahead of the bill collectors.
It is all about trying to make ends meet and it actually begins the moment you
commit to borrowing money. There are no people in between the rich people
and the poor people. There is no such thing as a “middle class”. They lied to
you when they told you there was.
If there was a middle class, the people in it would not be so confused.
Middle class implies that the poor are poor, but a have a fair chance to
become rich. There is a catch to that. It also means that the poor have a
very good chance of remaining poor, too.
Winning the lottery does not count! Gambling is an uncontrollable variable.
It can be very confusing to some people and actually be the cause of them
getting into debt in the first place. It can be sorted out very easily by applying
one simple rule of logic – if you are the ones getting the pink and yellow slips
in the mail – you are the poor. If you are the ones getting the nasty telephone
calls, someone is trying to tell you they don’t think you are going to get rich
soon.
If you are the ones who are not getting the pink and yellow slips, and you owe
money, you are the rich, unless you are the ones who are constant moving
around and leaving no change of address with the post office.
If you are the ones who are not getting the nasty phone calls and you owe lots
and lots of money, you are the ones who can file for bankruptcy. That way,
you get to keep your stuff! You do not have to hitch a ride to the pawn shop
and you still get to keep your money, too. You just might not be able to
borrow as much money the next time as you borrowed the first time.
You will have to rebuild your credit, first, by borrowing less money. Then you
can borrow lots and lots of money again, next time.
Sooner or later, there comes a point in time when both the rich and the poor
must pay up. As they say on the western channel, sooner or later “there
comes a time of reckoning”. Reckon you better pay up, or, face the
consequences. The consequences include suffering the frustrations and
embarrassment of being bothered at home and, sometimes at work, by nasty
phone calls from bill collectors.
You cannot tell them that they should not have loaned you the money in the
first place. That does not work! It does not help to curse them out and order
them to stop calling your house, either.
There is a law against them harassing you at work but if they can get mileage
out of threatening to do that, too, they will.
The poor and the rich all get phone calls from the people they owe, sooner or
later. The rich do not get too many, though, because they have lawyers.
They turn the problem over to their lawyers because the lawyers know how to
file for bankruptcy. Lawyers know how to get money from the rich like that.
No one else knows how, because it is a big secret that lawyers keep to
themselves.
The poor get lots and lots of phone calls from the people they owe. If the law
says bill collectors cannot call you before 8 a.m., they begin calling around 8:
01 a.m. If the law says they can’t call after 9 p.m., they call you at 8:55 p.m.
And they often call numerous times in between. They are the creditors! They
are out to get a payment or make your life miserable. The fact that you may
have fallen on hard times might get your creditors to accommodate you with
“some (temporary) arrangements” but eventually, it comes down to catching
up on those missed payments.
The poor cannot turn the problem over to their lawyers because they have no
lawyers. They can’t afford them. The lawyers do not want to file for
bankruptcy for the poor, either. Bankruptcy is legal stuff you go through to
keep your stuff and your money. Lawyers don’t want to go through legal stuff
to protect someone who cannot pay them for protecting stuff they do not
have.
Lawyers don’t like to get laughed out of court like that. Lawyers would rather
sue people. Whether they win or lose, they know there is nothing funny about
suing people.
Since both the rich and the poor are subjected to all of this, everyone needs
this bit of Croakersack advice. This is our secret for dealing with telephone
solicitors and bill collectors. It is for everyone who has a potential of receiving
unwanted phone calls. It comes in two parts.
First Croakersack Secret, get a telephone answering machine and use it.
You should stop being afraid to answer your own phone just because it might
be a bill collector. You do not have to be controlled by a machine like that.
You do not have to be too proud or too embarrassed to turn the thing on.
So, your friends complain. So what? Everyone talks to machines now.
You do, too! When you call your friends, you get their machines. Why
should your friends receive special treatment?
You can screen your calls with an answering machine. If bill collectors call, let
them talk to your answering machine. That can be like turning them over to
your own personal lawyer. If your friends call, you can pick up or you can call
them back. You can even sit there and smile and get revenge for all the times
you had to talk to their machines. Turn the thing on and use it!
Second and Most Important Croakersack Secret, as soon as you establish
that the caller is a bill collector or an unwanted solicitor, set the telephone
receiver down and walk away. Do not hang up! Do not curse them out.
Do not say a word. If you do, you lose. Turn up the music or go into the
kitchen and fix yourself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but do not say
anything. If you speak, you will be playing their game, and, you will lose!
If you follow this advice, they will soon stop harassing you. They will soon
stop calling you. It will be like holding a silver cross in front of Dracula just
before he bites you on the neck. To refuse to speak to them is the worst
thing you can do to a telephone bill collector or solicitor. It takes away all their
power!
They might call back a time or two and say something like, “I believe we were
disconnected”. Do not say a word! Just put the phone down again, again,
and walk away from it. Do not say anything like, “No, we were not
disconnected!” “I hung up on you on purpose!” If you do you lose, and you
will have to start all over, again. It won’t be as easy and as smooth the
second time (although it will work).
So, take back your manhood or your womanhood and take control of your
telephone and your life, again.
You might get a call a few months later and think it is starting all over, again.
Do not panic! It will not be starting all over, again. It will be someone else
calling on their behalf because they sold your problem and promised them a
commission if they can squeeze blood out of a turnip. Just follow the
Croakersack secret and you will be alright.
(Home Page!) (back to The Croakersack Page)
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License.
| Copyright © 2007 Alvin Hebert Croakersack Stories and Articles. All rights reserved. |
You do not
have to be
controlled
by a
machine
like that.
have to be
controlled
by a
machine
like that.
You cannot tell
them they
should not have
loaned you the
money in the
first place.
them they
should not have
loaned you the
money in the
first place.
A fancy
piece of
plastic you
can use to
get into
deep ...
piece of
plastic you
can use to
get into
deep ...